Bringing Popsicle Sticks to a Gun Fight
First as tragedy and then as fart
Trump’s not-State of the Union went so long that I was bumped off the network that booked me for commentary, which is good, actually. I don’t have much more to say about it beyond what I put on BlueSky:
This is all gross and I hate it.
Glad they're chanting "USA! USA!", I have genuinely forgotten what country I'm living in lately.
I want to do violence.
Like many lefties, I’m mostly just disappointed in the Democrats. Trump did Trump shit, absolutely nothing more remarkable than what’s already happening. Contra Ardle McMegan, this was not “a pretty normal State of the Union speech,”1 it was just a speech in keeping with the absolute apocalypse already in progress.
— @elienyc.bsky.social
This all-eyes-on spectacle gave the Democrats a great opportunity to demonstrate the urgency of the moment by doing something genuinely unprecedented and urgent. With the exception of a few courageous folks (notably, many people of color) and the singular example of Al Green (no, not that Al Green), Democratic representatives in the chamber limited their protests to wearing pink and holding up lollipop signs: “Musk steals,” “Save Medicaid,” “False.”
Those paper plate-sized meeps of upset are gonna make great grave-markers someday… except we’ll need a lot more.
Frowning while at the Brownshirt rally I’m attending so that people know I disagree with it — @erikhane.bsky.social
New Mexico Democrat Melanie Stansbury made the news for holding up a sheet of paper during Trump’s entrance that said, “This is not normal.” A GOP representative ripped it out of her hands and threw it into the air, which is not cool. But, my ever-loving one-eyed-pirate Christ, if something isn’t normal why are you and your Ann Taylor blouse in the chamber at all?
Many of the rowdy keyboard comrades on BlueSky have said this better and with more receipts than me, but I’ll just add to the dogpile: Such feeble pushback is a complete abdication of the Democrats’ duties as servants of the people and defenders of the Constitution.
No, Democrats, these little auction signs aren't it. You're acting like Wes Anderson characters who don't understand that they're in a Tarantino movie. —@jeffsharlet.bsky.social
They shouldn’t have even gone. They should have done rallies or a press conference or stayed home and played charades. Or, even if it upset some of the same people upset today, treat the farce as farce!
Go dressed as clowns carrying seltzer bottles and a-woooo-gah horns. Go dressed as mimes acting out a walk into a swift wind.
Wear Magritte-style bowler hats and, in unison, pull out back issues of Highlights magazine and pretend to read.
Sneak in sound machines or whoopee cushions to strategically deploy fart noises—first subtly, so that people just look around uncomfortably, and then louder and louder and strung together: prrrbt…prrrbt…prrrbt, prrrbt, prrrbtprrrbtprrrbtprrrbtprrrbtprrrbt!!!!!! A great tidal wave of flatulence, Trump looking around wildly, Was it one of mine?
This was not an occasion to bear witness, it was a historic opportunity to fuck shit up. Throw shoes into the machinery of fascism. Throw clown shoes, even better.
Debris field
Disney shutters 538, the Nate Silver-founded number-crunching site. I found its popularity encouraging, as it validated my own tendency to lean on jargon and inside jokes for titles instead of something immediately intelligible to normals. Silver left in May 2023, on his journey to spouting increasingly tweaked versions of “my skull shape is better than yours,” but it was a good site based on real reporting and now it’s gone. Hearts and prayers to those laid off, I’ll be sure to re-post when you announce your newsletters. [Yahoo! News Canada]
A forty-day boycott of Target initiated by Black clergy starts today and I’ll just say that I’m glad they put a limit on it. It’ll be my “Dry January” but for the Dollar Spot. [CNN]
The Trump DOJ ended the Biden administration’s lawsuit to enforce the Emergency Medical Treatment and Active Labor Act in Idaho. The law requires hospitals receiving federal funding to provide emergency, stabilizing care to all patients—including emergency abortions when necessary. Idaho’s abortion ban asks that a physician “affirmatively prove” the procedure necessary to save the person’s life, a standard that asks doctors to shuffle papers when they should be stopping bleeding. [Jezebel]
Dan and I are deep into Nuclear Winter over at Space the Nation. Appropo of SOTU rebutter Sen. Slotkin’s summoning of Zombie Reagan last night (rolling in his grave at the Trump administration, she says!), you might want to check out our discussion of The Day After, the movie that scared/scarred a generation. [Apple Podcasts]
You can sign up for The Slow Burn workshop (starts May 3) now! Contact me with any questions, there’s also a scholarship application here.
I know, it’s Megan. It still makes my teeth hurt.
@Ana Marie Cox I believe many people are disappointed in the Democratic Party at this very moment I believe it’s even more interesting is not the lies that Trump tells but what it says about his voters I wrote a article about it.
https://open.substack.com/pub/davidsypherjr/p/what-trumps-lies-say-about-his-own?utm_source=app-post-stats-page&r=2sshtz&utm_medium=ios
even if they stood up and turned their backs…something, anything….but I agree they should not have gone 😡 🇺🇸💔